I updated my site a little last night. www.jason-rigler.com

I'm going to use my blog to help me work through some stuff. Just write out my thoughts.

List of people I'm running rackets on- Not sure what a racket is? A fixed way of being and a persistent complaint.

So kelly helped me work out that a racket is the complaint, and what you are hiding? So maybe like a complaint and a story behind the complaint. So a racket on someone else is someone I have a complaint and way of being with. I'll try now.

Kelly-always pressuring me about our relationship-(story)she doesn't really love me because she is always pressuring me-(my racket) I don't believe anyone can really love me. The impact of that is that I can't have truly authentic and complete relationships.

Let's try another one

My persistent complaint is:
I only live at 60%
The fixed way of being is:
I only contribute what's needed at the time
The payoff is:
I don't lose.
The cost is:
My self satisfaction and impact on the world is incomplete.
In order to get complete with this racket:
Beats me.

So that's tough, I walk through the exercise but don't quite see my way through to the breakthrough.

Now let me try to dismantle an upset. What is something I am upset about...

I was upset when Tom told me I needed to "step up". Someone my age should be further along.

I am upset that I am not further along

The unfulfilled expectation I have for myself is to be stable, recognized as an authority, making more money, hmm...this isnt ringing true. more honest...I feel like I should have finished college. I feel like I am doing great work but it seems insignificant. I want my parents to be proud. I want to be on my own or married witha family, not sharing a home.

The possibility I am creating is: Go to school and become a psychiatrist.
The upset I am giving up is feeling like where I am isn't good enough.

I did better on that then with the racket.

Kelly says the advanced course will help me identify my "act". She says it must be very strong because it is not easily discernible.

Anyway, that's enough work for me ; Thanks for your help blog, and kelly.