Sounds innocent enough, codependent. I am. Never would have realized it till I met A. I owe her big. She is a girl of strong addictions. And I, am codependent. I am drawn to, and attract-people who instinctively want or feel that I am a rescuer. It's a sucky job, being codependent. It is a sure way of not being fulfilled. Having a relationship with someone who can't make you happy, a relationship whose conclusion will be disapointment and resentment. I have a desire to fix, help, heal, support. And those tendencies can be productive and healthy, except my sense of self worth is wrapped up in this assumed responsibility. And the person whom I have claimed responsibility for has no chance, they will undoubtedly dissapoint me. They have a problem, and my problem, simply feeds their problem and we both end up miserable. Coach told me to change my behaviour in the midst of the relationship. Detach from the sense of responsibility, create space so she can deal with her stuff, and I can deal with mine. **********************************************************I thought I could help, and things would be happy, and it would all work out ok. No chance. I refuse to take second place to an alcohol addiction, and I refuse to commit my time and energy to someone that will not value it. I want to, the illness in me craves to be in the mix. But I need to not be in a codependent situation, unless its with someone willing to work through it with me. That takes a certain amount of maturity and commitment. So the good news is, I understand I am codependent. Coach says its because my emotional needs were not met when I was a child. So I found another way to find self worth. It took me all this time to figure out I was codependent, now I need to figure out how not to be.