Now that some of the smoke has cleared, I can look back and give thanks. I am thankful for learning I am codependent. I am in group and personal therapy to address my relationship skills. To open up my doors more, to focus more on my own wants and needs, than on fixing someone else.

"A" made a big difference in my life, she was the right person at the right time, and I thank God for her. It was painful and difficult. But when I met A, I thought I had it all together, and she was coming to work hung over most days ;) While we were friends, she stopped drinking, smoking, and biting her nails. When things got hard, she would push me away to drink again. And I would feel like I had done an awful job, and react out of pain. It was a bizarre cycle, one I had never seen before. In my heart I know A has some more bottoms to hit before she overcomes her demons. She is in therapy and I pray she is open and honest with her therapist, herself, and her family.

Meanwhile, we go our separate ways, not even friends, sadly, victims of our own devices, the ones we developed to cover up the bumps and bruises we have picked up along the way. She reminded me of the tone I take, the sarcasm that can be hurtful, and that if I never let anyone get close, I will never experience the intimacy my heart craves. Thanks for the lessons A. I can never express my gratutude fully for the self awareness, and the new information I have gained. Thank you, and may all your dreams come true.