Doesn't that make a fence? So this weekend I start SELP self expression and leadership through Landmark. Fairly demanding final stage of mastering my own transformation ;)

I'm not really sure what to say at this point. I'm stoked about improving my connection to Brice, to cleaning up my relationship with Geri, of creating a wonderful friendship with kelly, and building a new relationship with Andrea.

Kelly still is pretty hurt and she has requested a getting complete party. She has an outline to send me. She is really working hard to not be stopped by the feelings this creates for her. What a great coach!

Geri is also very hurt, like kelly she is hurt that I didn't gve her an oportunity. She is taking on being responsible for her life and not settling for hanging out and being mediocre. She will be a force in the world. She also said today she would like to encourage me more and attack me less. ;) That really makes a big difference G thanks.

I was thinking today that no female until Andrea had a chance in my life. Creating a real relationship with Andrea really became possible out of the advanced course, before then I wasn't clear on what was holding me back. And any relationship I would or would not have pursued would have been based on being safe, and not really choosing. I think maybe the truth is, I have always made excellent choices in being with great women, I would just never really be with them. Then when I finally got it, Andrea was with me. So it's not like she is so much better, really, it's just that when I opened my eyes, she was the first one I saw. Not that i think it was that arbitrary or random, she ends up being so many things I would want in a woman. Just like I planned it, right God?

I also get that I have had both a wonderful and a destructive impact on the women in my life. I created worlds of possibilities for them, but I never gave them the freedom to create those things without me. That would have been too threatening. I believe God has and will continue to move in their lives in spite of me, and they will be champions on this planet. I understand the role I played, it was what it was. They are the captains of their own boats.

Andrea got today that her interest in me was based on her act. She was overjoyed to be in that empty space of choice. I remember being there and being pretty scared. Andrea is really courageous, taking on so much that scares her. It really inspires me. Like me she has so much crap to regret that sometimes it seems like an insurmountable pile. I like her attitude about it though, she really gets that she is living into a new possibility.

Work is pretty challenging and rewarding these days. I am thankful for the experience I am gaining here. Landmark is about to go to the next level. Ultimate has been on hold cuz I am old and heavy. Talking a little bit more with my family. I feel like I am waking up more and more everyday. Being courage and contribution. I intend to fight to keep Kelly as my friend, and to continue to work through raising Brice with Geri. Lot's of good work for me.