Looking back over the past few years I wonder what happened to me. I think there is more to discover there in the years I disappeared. It's not that I didn't have a great time with Kelly, we were certainly very happy for a few years. But there was something missing in me.

I remember who I was at Oceanview. And I would say i was more alive there, but a more honest look, and I think the last time I was really living was in HS. Since I graduated I just went from one avoidance, breakdown, mediocre effort to another.

Every job, every relationship, every day I can see I was just being half of me. And I knew it. A lot of that time I was very very busy, and I was enjoying life, but I compromised so much in so many places.

I know that must be true of almost everyone. I feel like I just crossed the desert, or maybe my 40 days in the wilderness. And now I'm moving into a new stage of life. Where I get that who I am and what I do matters. I remember feeling that way my Jr year of HS. I was an exemplary student, a fantastic actor and singer, an athlete...it was a good year.

Who I am now is the possibility of Courage and Contribution, and I am certain that will evolve.

I am also late for the gym ;)