Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Finding Intimacy

Be Patient-Develop friendships, give the relationship time to blossom.

Don't assume- Ask about your partners feelings, be aware of your own feelings.

Give each other space-Time alone makes time together even more special

Find your own worth within- Lasting good feelings come from loving yourself

Take care of yourself-Develop good habits, eat well, exercise, take time to be healthy mentally, emotionally, spritually, and physically.

Give Freely-all parties gain when you give without expectations, make sacrifices.

Trust-Sometimes you must let go, surrender, and put yourself in your partners hands

Agree to Disagree- Do not fear differences, embrace new opportunities to grow.

Share good feelings too-Give praise and compliments

Enjoy the Journey-Make time for each other, celebrate together, honor each other.

Ten Elements of Intimacy

1.Similiar values/boundaries

2. Acceptance/non-judgemental, non critical, respect thoughts, desires, feelings.

3. Equality/mutual respect, val;idate feelings, hopes, and dreams.

4. Trust/ available, reliable, consistent

5. Leveling/ Honest

6. Consideration/ Equal time to talk and listen

7. Communication/ no mind reading or assuming, ask questions, clear and reasonable expectations

8. Problem Solving/ try a solution, evaluate, make changes

9. Personal Space/ defined and expressed

10. Freedom/ Say what I need, express what I don't like.

Characteristics of Immature Relationships

1. You have to tell everyone how much this relationship means to you and how much the other person cares about you. (It is apparent without telling anyone in a healthy relationship)

2. Exhausted and emotionally drained, trouble concentrating, difficulty sleeping.
( enough time and energy in a healthy relationship)

3. Consider compromising values for the relationship.

4. You miss the other person terribly when you are not with them, but when you are together you are often in conflict. (You are happy with yourself and the other person when they are around or not around)

5. You are jealous and possessive.

6. You keep score of who cares more.