So first, the cat is annoying me with its incessant meowing. ok on to the good stuff...

I was thinking about how we "dance" when we speak to people. By dancing I mean like dancing around the fire. All the movements and sounds seem right but they are just representations. They tell a version of story. We often do the same thing when we talk. Which is ok, but hearing a story told again, or seeing it in dance around a fire, doesn't have the same impact as living it. Just like dancing around when we talk to people doesn't have the same impact as being direct and clean and honest.

Grey's Anatomy said something that has stuck with me this week. "We lie" We lie because the truth hurts. I keep having that discussion in my head. I think about how people interact. I think about the show, what it represents. When I think about the characters, i like when they make me laugh, i appreciate when difficult things occur for them, but I love them when they are real, when the tell the "truth".

I don't see any of them being happy. If they were real people, and they are in many ways, they wouldn't be happy, except maybe for George. And it's all about the truth. People who are honest with others and with themselves experience a much more vibrant and free life. The rest, are just dancing around the fire, in masks and makeup, telling stories.

Lying is just another form of avoidance, obviously. It's eerily similiar to drinking, shopping, and other activities people use to hide from life. The way life feels sometimes, is awfully hard to carry. But when you choose to carry the burden of truth, it is lifted. When you trade truth for dancing, you carry the weight of every step, every story, and every deceit with you.

And deceit isn't just a big lie or a little lie, it's the way we avoid saying what we think and feel to people. Under the guise of protecting them, we are protecting ourselves, froth the "hurts" of truth. And there is a price for giving in to our fears. Just like there is a reward for being true.

All there is now is choice. It is the simplest complicated ever occuring important moment we experience any given day, when we are faced with choosing. That's why we have all those automatic responses, because we don't want to face the challenge of making a purposeful choice let alone, its consequences.

People will argue over what to have for dinner for an hour, but say things without thinking that have long lasting consequences. We are amazing creatures.

As for me, I am sitting with what it means to not dance when I speak.